I Don’t Know

I don’t know what this is. 

Waking up sometimes is shaky. 

I’m fearful!

It feels like when I was 5years old and afraid to go to sleep because the monsters were in my dreams. 

Now the monsters are in my reality, and sleep is where they don’t go. 
 

What is this shaky sense of raw vulnerability? 

Where is my armor? 

I’m defenseless or so I feel.

I feel as if I could frolic in a meadow with wet grass between my toes and warm sun on my face. 

In my dreams, 

I can feel the safety of warm spaces and the security of heavy blankets, 

In my dreams.

These times or this age has stripped me down to my innocence.

I don’t know what is next. 

I don’t know if I can. 

But, in my dreams or in the blank spaces of release and surrender I have no worries, as I hum myself into balance and selfless care. 

In my dreams I am alone! 

Warm 

Safe 

Covered 

Comforted 

Weightless 

Free!